Cinderella Goes Live: A little bit of Alchemy,the Passing Over Ceremony and the candour of children:Director's Blog 26

So its early Friday morning, and once again coffee and a piece of toast accompanies my Panto blog writing time. I have been reliably informed by a couple of my early morning companions that they expect my Director's Blog to be online by 7am every morning. So no pressure there then! Some of my friends in Team Cinderella seem to think that writing a blog before dawn is either a confirmation of my vampiric tendencies, or at the very least a sign of mental torpor. I am not convinced by either of these suggestions! And I would point out to my loyal readers that writing in the early hours is par for the course for most journalists! Getting copy in before print deadlines is business as usual for them!

Simply because I am a theatre director who stays up late to drink in the intoxicating after show spirit (and the occasional glass of red wine it has been known) really does not preclude me from being an early morning hack! So I have every intention of continuing this discipline at least until January 3rd when our little baby goes to sleep for the final time! 

I have been pondering though how best to continue the pithy story of ordinary panto folk when I have moved on. I am minded to flatter my lovely MD Mr Phil to pick up some of this most enjoyable of activities. I have a way to go I think before he will be persuaded. But watch this space!

Most mornings I accompany my writing with an eclectic mix of music. For the past few days its been a favourite -  Faure's Requiem. Today, having likened Mr Phil to Mozart, I felt it only right that I spend some time with Amadeus. So am listening to Mozart 111 Andante - majestic and reflective. In the darkness that precedes dawn I am drawn to this gentle meditation.

Anyway - keyboard in hand, here goes a short tour of yesterday, the Passing Over Ceremony and then our first 2 schools performance of Cinderella. 

Some of you may not be familiar with what I mean by a Passing Over Ceremony? Its something I have always done to mark the moment when the show no longer belongs to the Creative Team, but is passed into the safe keeping of the Acting Company and the Production Team. As I have hinted at several times over the past couple of days  - I do find this painful, but know that it is a critical part of the making of any theatre piece. If you don't let it go, like an adult child you might still find it living in the spare room at 40!  

My Passing Over ritual has been the same for the past twenty five years, and was given to me as a gift when I was an actor at the Steppenwolf Theatre in Chicago. This is not a widely known thing, but the famous American acting dynasty the Barrymore family created their own special style of passing over, although I am not sure they called it that. 

You might just like to think of it as a first night present. But for me it is more profound than that. Without disclosing the entire ritual, suffice it to say it involves taking the whole team into a private room and the giving of large Ariane red apples to each member of the creative and Acting Company. This accompanied by special messages in a card to each actor, also involves a secret ritual in which the actors are passed the show and the Creative Team steps back. 

In our case only one of the Creative Team remains with the show for the whole run of the show. This is our Composer and Musical Director Phil, who elegantly moves over to becoming one of the two man band along with our lovely  Mr. Phil Hardisty on drums! 

And so it was yesterday that Cinderella was passed over. I promised that I would stay in the back seats of the auditorium, painting my finger nails until the day after press night, after which I will visit regularly and plan then to don the uniform of a volunteer usher, just so I can stay in touch with the company, and most importantly get a feel for the audience reactions, which is more tricky to get from the Director's seat.

The first show yesterday morning saw 340 children fill the auditorium with their teachers and you could feel the anticipation thick in the air! The magic of coming into the theatre will have been for some of them an entirely new experience. 

Watching them settle in their seats, I was exquisitely reminded of my first live performance experience, watching my Mum (Anne) and Dad (Edgar) in an amateur production. For the moment I can't remember its name but will ask them when they come to the shows on Saturday. But I know that I was three years old and sat in the front row of the church hall whilst they did their stuff on the stage in front of me. 

I remember that in the play my Dad's character ended up killing my mum's.  She was wearing a red satin dress which made her not look like my mummy! At the critical point in the penultimate scene, she was murdered rather horribly (I suppose that is perhaps the only way to get murdered!) and according to family storytelling, I apparently jumped up and stood on my seat announcing to the gathered audience that in fact my mummy was not really dead but was behind the stage with my Daddy. I think I may have ruined the most dramatic moment of the play, but it obviously needed to be done!

This memory was clearly prompted by watching these many small children experiencing theatre yesterday possibly for the first time. I certainly haven't connected my own first experience before. 

As they sat there with all their anticipation and imagination I suddenly remembered what a huge responsibility it is to give small human beings perhaps their first taste of this new world of living, breathing, singing, dancing storytelling. And to boot to retell a story that most of them will know intuitively even if they don't realise it. A story that has been passed down lovingly from one generation to another and is found one way or another in its infinite variety in most cultures.

I found that private moment yesterday a powerful reminder of why we do what we do and what an enormous privilege and responsibility it is. You really have a duty to be the best you can be as you know yourself that these early memories will contribute to these children's bank of experiences as they grow up. That feels pretty profound! 

The first show went reasonably well although the transformation scene when Cinderella and the audience see the carriage for the first time and her dress is supposed to be  magically transformed was a bit of a dog's dinner and I had to hide my eyes when the magic didn't work as well as I know it can and should! 

The transformation is probably the most challenging in any production of Cinderella. And you know if it works if the audience gasps in delight. Well there were many other moments when they did gasp in delight or fear but this wasn't one of them this time. 

I was pretty frustrated and a little desolate about it, having to remind myself that it was the first show and its actually a very complicated bit of business where a number of key elements must come together at exactly the right moment to synthesise the necessary magic! 

Suffice it to say I am known for my eagle eye and not much gets past me. And I have to say the show was still magical in lots of places, easy to see by the enthralled collective reaction of the children. However this was not good enough for me! 

So the first thing I wanted to do after the show finished was to go and talk to the kids in the audience. Fortunately there was a smallish group from one of the schools camped in the foyer eating their crisps and sandwiches and I was able to sit down with them on the floor and find out what they liked and didn't like. They are our precious audience without whom there is no show. 

I had the best time as the sun streamed through the big foyer windows. Given the right opportunity children will always give you a candid response! Sometimes you might not want to hear it, blaming any negative feedback on a whole host of spurious reasons such as the fact that they are not clever enough or they are too young. These supposedly comforting excuses are no substitute for the real reasons! 

Anyway I was mostly relieved to listen to them and to feel just how much they had loved the show. I asked about their favourite characters, and of course as you would expect most loved Cinderella best. However one freckled 7 year old with no front teeth called Maisie, did disagree courageously with her classmates to tell me that her favourite character was Rubella the Evil Stepmother! She made no bones about it and when I asked her if she wasn't just a little bit scared of her, she looked with a certain disdain that told me that I obviously didn't understand! 

Leroy, a small boy of six asked me if he could send letters to all the people in the show. I thought his teachers would like that - an opportunity for Leroy to use his imagination at the same time as improving his writing  - bit of a win-win I suggest! 

Leroy,Ossie, Maise and Candice then went onto tell me all the words they could spell! Well some were a wild approximation but the desire to spell for me overtook any uncertainty about the spelling. At first I couldn't work out for the life of me why six or seven of them started spelling words to me  arbitrarily.... and then I sussed it. Of course the character of the Fairy Godmother talks about spelling in her Fairy Song: It’s hard to be a fairy when your wand is slightly bent. It’s difficult to be a perfect speller.

And then I got it! They were spelling for me because at some unconscious level they had picked that up from Marsha! Wow!

And that brings me finally today to the greatest gift and secret of theatre making. And that is Alchemy. You may wonder what I am going on about now and you may also think perhaps that Alchemy is simply when a base metal is transformed into gold. And of course that is part of it.

But when applied metaphorically (get that Phil - A METAPHOR! I refer you to yesterday's silly Creatives video) it means the process of turning a whole lot of stuff into something entirely different! Indeed a transformation. And lets face it that's what Grimm's original story is about. A young orphaned girl is down trodden by her horrible step mother and ugly sisters and then by the strength and will of intention she creates the possibility of change and the certainty of transformation!

So there you have it, in my book that is the working of alchemy! 

Please discuss.

So that's it with my ramblings for today. If you have managed to stay with me - thank you and I would appreciate any thoughts or questions in the comments boxes below! 

Off in an hour or so to today's schools shows. I know that although I leave next week, I might be tempted just to stick around on my laptop in the foyer for a little bit longer. I am rather in love.

Foyer Bits and pieces, Final Dress Rehearsal and the cast blog at last! Director's Blog 25

It's 4.30 pm, Owen, Phil, Olly and I are being very silly in the foyer at the Broadway Theatre! As we sit here the Christmas Tree is being decorated as the dusk is arriving. Chorus Two have just got here and seem pretty excited! 

There is a buzz about the place. The cast are on very good form! Lots of laughter,fun and anticipation as we go into our last and Open Dress Rehearsal! 

Today there are a few mini-blogs that I am planning to post in the comments box below from our Team Cinderella, and here also a slightly bonkers cabin-fevered video of Mr Phil, Mr Owen and I lovingly filmed by the writer Mr Olly who cleverly manages regularly to avoid being filmed - but watch out Olly - Your time will come!

Anyway here it is....... the sound is terrible, the screen too wide, and well some of the creative team just a little...............!

Have faith in the Creative Team leading this panto?  Well now you have seen the video I hope that maybe we can be forgiven? It is all just a little hysterical folks, and demonstrates coming out the other side of the post-partum blues - well that's my excuse anyway!

Its early in the morning of the next day (Thursday 29th November) and I am just picking up from where I left off in the foyer yesterday afternoon to add a small comment on last night's final open dress rehearsal. 

The audience for this show was very special.It was made up of 200 or so looked-after-children with their parents,families,carers and social workers. Its a commitment the Broadway has made over the past few years at the request of Anne Bristow (Corporate Director Adult and Community Services). And I think its a great idea.

It serves two important purposes. Most significantly it gives troubled families and their children a bit of light hearted fun and a break from all the pressures they are under,and secondly it gave Team Cinderella a chance to strutt its stuff to what felt like an almost full house of children and adults.

The excitement and fear levels amongst the children (and possibly some of their adults) reached fever pitch at times! How fabulous it was to hear and see these kids and their families having such a great time! 

I was sitting at the very back of the auditorium filing my finge nails as promised with Owen (well he wasn't actually filing my finger nails bless him, mind you he would have made a much better job of applying my red nail varnish I have to say!) 

The excitement in the audience made me suddenly feel a bit like we were on the Nemesis ride at Alton Towers!  I have to say I had never made the connection between a panto and a theme park before - but come to think of it Mr Phil seems to have done so! I believe he went to Disneyland Paris for a certain big birthday in August? So maybe that's what inspired his tunes? We will probably never know!

Sal wrote on our private facebook group this evening about how amazing it was to see the children's faces when they saw Cinderella's rag dress transform into a ball gown in front of their eyes. Its true isn't it that when you believe in magic, anything is possible?

The actors and chorus (to be lovingly called the Acting Company hence forth) no longer Principals and Youth Chorus any more, really seemed to relish the challenge! 

 Owen, Phil and I are also delighted to announce the two Team Leaders for the Young Acting Company Teams: 

Team One: Gabrielle Mason. 

Team Two: Coral Ironside.

Good luck guys! Keep your teams on their toes! ( oh yes but that's why they are there in the first place ....the show....on their toes!)

For me one of the most special bits of the show was when Marsha asked the kids in the audience to help her with a spell, and asked them if they had a wand to do so. This actually brought a tear to my eye, as of course we knew that none of them did. (And I don't think that the merchandise arrives until Saturday anyway). 

So Sal told them that if they didn't have a real wand, they could pretend. She asked them to wave their imaginary wands in the air,twirl them and then finally flick them to make the spell work. And they did. It was a magical and beautiful moment, but I must admit to having cried just a little at this.I hope that for them the memory of seeing and doing magic might stay with them for a little while.

Anyway enough is enough. I haven't posted any photos for a while, so here are some I took earlier You can see that I must have been a little potty as I decided to take a photo from my moleskine rehearsal notes book!

I don't usually share my notes with anyone other than our team, and believe me after the first dress rehearsal the other day I did have 25 pages of notes! 

So here is a glimpse! The writing is virtually ilegible as it was done in the dark  - and my eyes aren't what they used to be! 

And for the Young members of the Acting Company's grandchildren: 

Please forgive the out of focus quality of my amateur pics. There will be better to come from Theresa tomorrow, and these were done on my phone in the dark!

Cinders and Charming at the Ball

(Amy Green and Sharif Affifi)

If I were a Lady - Chorus Team Two

Ian Teague (Designer) and Alison Jacobson (Costume Maker) examine the intricacies of the transformation of Cinderella's dress.

Chloe Kenward (Lighting Designer) puts her final touches of magic to her inspired lighting design before jetting off to sunnier climes!

My trusty carer (aka Company Manager) looking just a tad emotional from his 300 + cues to call.

And last but not least my trusty Composer and Musical Director - Mr Phil in full rehearsal flow! Sorry Phil,. It had to be done!

So that's about it for today's blog. I will be updating over the next few days with more gossip from the green room and more unlikely photos!  

Please also do have a look at the min-blogs from Team Cinderella in the comments boxes below - will give you the sound of many other voices than mine! Thanks

See you tomorrow.

A Panto is Made, A show is born and the cycle begins again. Director's Blog 24

Today my blog entry is a prayer. Its a prayer of gratitude. I warn you though, it may end up being my longest. I appreciate that for some of my readers this may not be of interest right now. So please feel free to skip today's blog if you so wish! I promise there will be no memory tests, honest.

Our call this morning is 11.30 am so time for a small pause and to reflect on my personal panto journey over the past six months. If you are still reading this I beg your momentary indulgence while I share some of it with you. What is a 'panto' journey you may well ask. Isn't that making too much of it?  

Well you can make your own mind up! 

One thing that is certain for Olly, Nita, Natalie, Theresa, Josh and I is that whether we are making a small drama workshop for five year olds or a major touring play  - we always have to bring vision, attention to detail and effort regardless of theme or budget!  (Probably why we will never make our financial fortune!)

Back in early January the decision by the Council to cut much of its grant to the Broadway Theatre became a sad reality.The theatre was to be a certain casualty of central government austerity measures to be implemented by the local administration. This was inevitably to be tough for all those elected councillors and officers who had to make decisions they would have preferred not to have done. 

It goes without saying that we all know and have experienced over the past four years what this has come to mean. How the soul and spirit of so many precious things have been ripped out callously from some of those unique experiences that make us human. 

Sadly the very heart of a community is wounded when the invisible alchemy that the arts bring quietly and sometimes not so quietly to most people's lives, is the first thing to go. 

At a practical level of course it all makes perfect sense, after all the bins must be emptied, the elderly and vulnerable cared for,our children educated and the inflation rate controlled. I get this of course. If you can't eat, keep warm or learn what on earth can the arts do for you? And the job of the Council is to balance the books to ensure that the vicious cuts can keep these essential services safe. And so it was that the Broadway had to take its share of the collective pain. 

Indeed  2013 will be an even tougher year in truth for Arc as the Council arts budget will be cut entirely. For me and my team this means the withdrawal of our grant and the subsequent financial implications for our ability to continue to develop our work in and for our community of Barking and Dagenham.

The past few weeks of rehearsals have proved to be a welcome relief from the battles for survival for our company. A company that I have built with Olly, Nita, Natalie and Theresa over the past 28 years. 

These rehearsals have reminded me of who I am and why I still love this perhaps strange way of living as an artist.

Its a tough one to have to consider the letting go of Arc as we know it. But in spite of the pain to come next year, I am mostly optimistic that with this seismic change there will be opportunity. I have just the beginning of a clue as to the direction I would like things to go. And it will be radical I have no doubt. It always has been. 

Long ago I came to understand and to fully experience the relentless dynamic of change. The very things that are most precious to us, that seem certain and indeed to define who we are, will one day pass and become dust. Please don't think for a moment that this is in any way pessimistic, in fact it is the contrary. It is simply what it is. 

The one certainty we have is that regardless of whether we like it or not things are in constant change and flux and will always be so, however hard we might try to hang on to those things we love and hold dear. For me accepting this has led to a much greater sense of liberation in my own artistic life. I appreciate that it is not easy though, but maybe anything too easily acquired will not stand the test of time anyway?

And to the panto.

Out of the pain of the loss of funding to the theatre came unexpectedly the wonderful opportunity for Arc to be commissioned to produce and direct this year's pantomime. I say this not from any place of superiority. What I found unexpectedly hidden in the rubble was a little gold nugget for Arc, which I grasped with both hands whilst simultaneously mourning the loss of the theatre as it had been. 

I feel sad especially for those committed people who had brought their hearts to making the theatre work for the past few years. For Karena Johnston, the current Artistic Director and CEO this must have been devastating, and I hope that when she returns from maternity leave, we will be able to share our love and ideas for the theatre going forward. For my friends on the original Broadway board of trustees on which I was privileged to sit for 3 years, for John Middleton and Joan Brandon in particular, trustees who I value very highly and who remain my friends.

I have no idea at all if there will be a place for Arc in the Broadway's next incarnation, and if not then that will be just as it needs to be. I will not even attempt to prejudge this. What will be will be.

And so it was that I found myself agreeing the budget in May, thanks to the support of Chris Mellor, the current Interim Creative Producer, who supported me hugely throughout the negotiations of budgets and people during the early spring.

I have enormous personal gratitude to Anne Bristow (Corporate Director Adult and Community Services at London Borough of Barking and Dagenham) and Paul Hogan (Divisional Director, Culture and Sport) for demonstrating their faith and trust in me and my team.  After all it was (and still is,the show hasn't opened yet!) a huge act of trust on their behalf. Not least because whilst they know the quality of our work generally, they also know that I have never produced let alone directed a pantomime before, and although Olly has written many many plays, including children's musical shows this was to be a real departure for us. 

But this is no place for self-indulgence frankly. Its a serious matter, that if you are arrogant or ignorant enough to take on then you have to deliver! Its been an opportunity that has excited me more than many of the last 28 years, but it would be a lie to say that it wasn't also the most terrifying!  Ignorance is bliss? Well it certainly was until I came to realise what I had signed us up for!   Thankfully I was helped by a long time mantra of Olly's and mine from the write Ray Bradbury, author of Fahrenheit 451 who died in June. You may be familiar with it. 

At times of particular change and fear both Olly and I remind each other of these words which have secretly driven us forward since we began the Arc Project in 1984: 

"You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down."

So there you have it friends, that just about sums Arc up.

So following the agreement for us to produce the pantomime, I very quickly decided that Cinderella was to be my choice. Pragmatically it is the best known and most loved of pantomimes, and at its heart is the story of loss, hope and salvation. Particularly pertinent I think for our times.

As I have mentioned before, Denise Cresswell, Front of House and Customer Service Manager at the Broadway was always going to be my first port of call. I asked her who she thought I should approach to be Musical Director and Choreographer, and without a breath she directed me to Phil and Owen. How right she was to do so! Not only have they become our best collaborators ever, but now our best friends!  You see Denise, Phil and Owen really know what they are talking about when it comes to panto - and indeed Phil has been MD on five of the seven pantomimes produced for the Broadway. This never ceases to amaze me as that makes him only 22 when he did his first! Eat your heart out Mozart!

The project was truly ignited at a "Show and tell" meeting on June 7th with all four of us. It was a blast and after a couple of hours sharing how we work, it was a done deal. I have just been looking at the email trail from back then, and thought I would share with you just how quickly things got moving! 

From me to Paul Hogan on June 7th: 

"Hi Paul,  Can we touch base today? meeting potential choreographer and MD this morning. Will keep you in the loop and let you know how it goes and whether they are the right people" 

And to Phil and Owen the same day 

"Hi Both -  I hope all is well. I am delighted to confirm that we are all systems go with panto.  I am just waiting for the council to get their contract to me and then we will issue your contracts asap. I will come back to you individually by email in the first instance to confirm fees as discussed etc; "

And then it all started very quickly, from Phil on June 14 

" Hi Carole ,I’m planning on putting an email together for you with lots of info about the music/sound area of the show, just to outline what, historically, have been the best uses of the budget to get the best possible sound for the money. That way, when you speak with the theatre etc, you have a bit of background knowledge on the department. Would this be useful? "

And then on July just as Olly was begining to write and I was meeting with Ian about design!

"Hi Olly,

Another mock up for you – it’s a possible idea for the duet (replace “she” with “he” for Cinderella’s verse!) Yet again, some truly awful lyrics just to give me something to sing a melody to (rather than la la la!), so please discard and replace with real words if you think the song has legs. Think I’d be able to knock a nice harmony/countermelody over it to make for a big finale to the song etc.Could also be turned into a Solo if a duet for Cinderella and Charming wasn’t right. Its up to you really – if it doesn’t fit,  then no probs! Phil"

And that is the tone in which most of our conversations have continued ever since. Olly and I could never have got off first base in spite of all the years we have made new work, if it were not for the hand holding given to us both by Phil and Owen. If we do manage to touch the hearts and souls of our audience and get them to feel 2 hours of joy then it is mostly down to these two talented guys! 

And last but certainly not least to yesterday. Our baby was born at 11am in the auditorium of the Broadway Theatre Barking. She is called Cinderella and I have it on best authority that mother and baby are doing well!

So now to today and our final Dress Rehearsal. I am so excited, so excited to share the work of my lovely Team Cinderella with an audience now. I think we are almost ready to open up the auditorium and our story to them. Tomorrow's school performances will be our first opportunity to do this. 

Oh yes - I don't for a moment want you to get the impression that we "luvvies" are not as tough as nails! This common perception could be no further from the truth! And believe me I will never ever be happy or complacent until the last show comes down on January 2nd and we have a big knees up! (And probably not even then!)

My time is nearly over now, the lion's share of my job now done.Its nearly time for the Director to disappear as the writer had to do three weeks ago and hand our precious baby over to our trusty team.

So hopefully it will be me in the back row of the theatre tomorrow, nonchalantly pairing my finger nails (check out James Joyce's: Portrait of an Artist if you are interested in this reference!)  

Its time for me to leave shortly, well certainly by December 8th after Press Night! 

I always find this letting go to be the most painful part of making new work, but it has to be done. The company need to take on full ownership from early next week. So you see after all the nurturing, passion and love that everyone has brought to Cinderella - finally Panto Grows up! 

I promise that if you have managed to get to the end of this missive, tomorrow's will be short, pithy and probably full of self doubt and also maybe some clarity about what works and doesn't work - so possibly back to murdering my darlings! 

Thanks so much to the Mums and the Arc Community Players who gave us an intimate and supportive audience for last night's Team One Dress Rehearsal. As I have said on a number of occasions in this blog - you are as important a part of Team Cinderella as we all are!

That's it.

Tantalisingly Close, Birth Pangs and Tears: Director's Blog 23

I think yesterday was probably my toughest day since the beginning of the Cinderella Project. I can't always tell when the cloud will descend on making a new piece of work. But rest assured it always does!

On days like yesterday I wish I could just sit nonchalantly in the back row of the auditorium filing my finger nails! I wish I could say "job done, that's it, best I can do, fini, finito, finished". And what if I could? Well we could possibly get away with it, after all it mostly seems to work.The 6 months of bashing this beast backwards and forwards between Olly,Phil,Owen,Ian and I means that the overall structure is pretty robust. At times like this however I often wish I could let go of caring about making it the best show I have ever made!  But the thing is, that's about as likely as I am to win the London Marathon! 

Making work like this forces all of us to put our heads on the line, to risk public and private failure, and to do so right in the glare of some who don't really think theatre and the arts in general should be supported or subsidised. So no pressure there then! Well actually I felt that pressure weighing down on me heavily yesterday. 

The day was in fact an excellent one, just as it should be for a dress rehearsal. It did what it needed to do. Its excellent even though I would mark the first Dress as a 2/10. Most of Team Cinderella will possibly gasp at such judgement, thinking me the Director from Hell. That really doesn't bother me however (apart from their possible withdrawal of favours!). 

What I find excruciating is the tantalising closeness of the show being born, but with me stuck in the final stages of a long and arduous labour. Most often when I direct plays, this moment of shift is something I experience acutely alone and can usually only share with Olly. But this time with the equal collaboration of him, Phil, Owen and Ian there really is nowhere big enough for all of us to hide! At the same time there is a comforting feeling that we are all in it together. If we fall, we all fall, and if we rise, we all rise! 


The technical rehearsal days were so deliciously worker-like.The Production team taking over the lead and strutting their stuff, making all the elements sing together in concert. My hat goes off to them. As I wrote a few blogs ago these are the unsung heroes, without whom frankly the show would end up like a dog's dinner. The creative and realisation process of making theatre is a hugely collaborative one. There really are no stars (well sometimes there are names, and very talented names at that! particularly attractive to an audience) and yet the real stars I have worked with are humble enough to understand this. When it works, its like the clock I described in yesterday's blog, we need all the bits to be well oiled and in the right place for the clock to tick.

But here's the trick. I know from experience that all the emphasis on putting the bits together paradoxically and momentarily eclipses the actors. The original creativity and the crafting of character, meaning  and emotion long left behind in the cosiness of the Malthouse rehearsal studios, the actors are set adrift for this short time. 

As an actor myself originally, I get this. You can't always put words to it, but in my personal experience it is like all the glitter disappears over night, and the thing you thought was the best and most wonderful work you have ever made seems to slip between your fingers like sand. Its just plain human, we all have feet of clay! 

It is seriously uncomfortable, but hey get over it! 

The actors creative time returns fully over the next two days. And God willing if we have got the timing on this right, then the magic will return and the actors will soar again! All sounds a bit indulgent doesn't it? Well I promise it isn't! It's just the hard core part of making something new. Painful yes but not really any different from building a church or a family!

So,whimsical ramblings now over for today.  I hear you say "For goodness sake Carole, its only a panto, get over it too!" and of course that's true, its only a panto. I'll get over it. 

I think in our own ways quite a few of us had a crisis of confidence yesterday. What if this show is really terrible?  Well I secretly suspect that Arc would be hounded out of town and the rest of Team CInderella might just not put it on their CVs. But hey ho - life's an adventure!

The bit I found toughest last night though, was not the actors, the Production or Creative teams, but the little and not so little ones from our beautiful Youth Chorus One. Telling them that their performance was truly dreadful and scored a miserly 2/10 was tough.

I have to commend Owen here. As usual he was a brick. Owen uses his mix of humour and directness and the kids just get it. Phil got just a little bit stroppy with them too when a couple of them said "But its only a rehearsal", but as he followed that with a disarmingly sweet smile to them, I think they knew he wasn't about to walk out!  The kids can be forgiven for not always understanding the process. We have to remember that some of them are only eight, and it was after all only their first full run through!  I had asked MJ to ask them all to bring a pen and paper to notes. I have to say it was a special moment to look down from the edge of the stage to these tired and beautiful children paper and pen in hand, with earnest and worried expressions ready to take it on the chin.

Owen asked how they felt the dress rehearsal had gone, and these lovely little faces looked a bit crumpled up. Gabby was the first to say it as it was and the others took their lead from her. She was startlingly honest which meant we could be real with them and validate them as young artists too. 

I really felt for them. All the hard work for the past 2 months seemed to disappear and they looked like it was a first rehearsal! But they wrote their notes dutifully. Peeking at some of their handwriting I had to remember that some of these are very small children. But you know they are also tough and they can take it! 

My overall feeling was that they, like the Principals had momentarily lost touch with the fun and imagination of telling the story of CInderella. In an attempt to recapture some of this very quickly as MJ was giving me the nod that there were only a few minutes left, I said I had something I wanted them to do for me that was sure to work. I gave them one small bit of homework to do before they went to sleep.To draw a picture of their character as they see them and to include all the things that they feel about them, and to write words all around them that describe their character.And then the magic bit, I told them to put their pictures under their pillows until the morning. I said  I was sure that the picture would do its work overnight, and when they get up this morning they will notice that all their character has come back!  So ...... we wait with bated breath. 

I hope Henrietta Mouse Mummy and Freya don't mind, but I can't resist showing you her drawing posted on our private Facebook group. It made me both smile and shed a little tear! (but then I did come over all tired, stroppy and emotional myself yesterday!) 

This is Freya's picture! 
Back tomorrow - one way or another it will be a different story!

Fruit Pastille Missiles, coming over hysterical and tech rehearsals: Director's Blog 22

Sunday morning, told myself I could sleep in today, and here I am waking naturally as every morning. Its become a habit for the past three weeks to make a coffee and settle down to blog about the Cinderella rehearsals of the day before. I feel I owe it even more now to my loyal readers who tell me that they too join me at 6am with their coffee to check in on the latest goings on. I particularly refer to my two most loyal of readers, Donna Kelynack and Henrietta Michael, or the Mice Mummies as I like to call them now, Group One's little micies Freya and Ella. Donna and Henrietta are always the first to like the next blog instalment  and I am grateful to them both for encouraging my early morning reflections!  Up to over 6000 views now since I started the blog this month. I am really thrilled by this as I have never got so many hits on a blog! I hope that this will make some small contribution to the ticket sales, which I believe are going very well!

Ah yesterday, yesterday. I think it was Saturday?  Everyone arrived for the technical rehearsal of Act 2. Dear Sally, our quirky Fairy Godmother Marsha travels all the way from Colchester every day, and she was particularly exhausted yesterday, although cheerful as ever!  She tells me that most evenings now she gets home at 11.30 pm, downs a glass of wine and settles for beans on toast before retiring. 

Sally has two children and whilst I suspect the household chores have been left abandoned like mine, she cannot entirely relinquish her responsibilities to her children, not least her daughter who is doing her university applications! Well Sal, you are a mistress multi-tasker! 

Andy  looked pretty ropey yesterday, well every day really in his Ugly dresses! and has sadly come down with the Cinderella lergie, which I am reliably informed has been brought to the rehearsal room by the dapper Dean Kilford (our Noel Coward pastiche character Dandini and dear old reliable Buttons) - thanks Dean, I can feel the old lergie coming on today too! 

But lets hope we all get over it before we open next week! 
Next week?................eeechhhh! (I'm not scared.......much!)

As technical rehearsals go, they went. I actually enjoy techs, repetitive and laborious as they can be, because you get to see the whole show in bits in front of you, much like a clock whose parts are laid out on a table and which must be lovingly put together to make it tick. All the bits you have missed, failed to pay attention to or glaringly don't work are there for all to see in their nakedness!

The magic that we need to create all so clunky too, that the  'You Shall Go to the Ball' transformation looks as obvious as the primary school teacher pushing a five year old Mary and her donkey on to the stage in the school nativity because they forgot to go on! 
(That's a true story that happened to my daughter when she was at Infants school!) 

But hey ho - the smell of the greasepaint, the roar of the crowd lies before us like Christmas morning! although of course Christmas Day will be one of the few days Team CInderella will get off this year! I haven't even started my Christmas shopping, so today my biggest job is to get bidding on ebay! 

The Creative and Tech teams did get a little hysterical yesterday, due to intense cabin fever. We were laughing helplessly by the end of last night when the Chorus Group 2 had finally gone through all their scenes. Sam particularly makes me laugh. He had his costume on for the first time, and beckoned to me quietly to say that his woolly hat was itching him and was too big, and in spite of looking fabulous, Ian and I had to admit that there was a real possibility that it might end up falling down over his eyes!  

So by the only apparent magic yesterday, Ian returned to Sam with a properly fitting hat that resolved Sam's worries immediately! Thanks Ian. There were a lot of things for him to solve for me yesterday - wands, stools, slippers, moons, aprons and dummy's legs! Ian has a way of looking quizzical at my ever additional demands! I don't blame him, the design is never quite finished until the fat lady sings! (Andy??) Just at the moment when he thinks he can breath a little again he hears my voice booming in his ear asking for yet another solution! But he is stalwart in his ability to deliver every one! Thanks Ian. Perhaps a curry and a drink in January?

Owen, Phil and I are particularly guilty for the hysterics of yesterday, well Phil in particular. His ability to descend into 10 year old naughty boy mentality is second to none! This is demonstrated by his urge to send fruit pastille misiles in my direction from time to time. He got a bulls eye with a red one which landed right on my shoulder from a distance of fifteen feet from the Band hide-out! Thanks Phil - bet you can't do it again!

In all seriousness though (which was a little lacking by 9.30 last night!)  the demands of tech are such that you consistently have to go back and re time, rework things. I have the dubious pleasure of sitting with a pair of headphones on listening to the language of lighting, music sound effects cues bouncing between Chloe, Steve, Phil, Cat, MJ and the ASMs Miffy and Laura! I also get to hear the jokes and requests for loo breaks! It beats the Archers I can assure you.

It was of course not only the creatives and crew who enjoy the exquisite quality of technical synergy, but the actors too of course. Their cabin fever as much on show as ours! This of course did not get in the way of the forensic analysis of every move of bodies and set in space, and the very real risks involved in flying set in etc; which Chris M leads like a military operation. God help you if you fail to meet his rigorous standards - and that of course is how it must be! and for which I am ever grateful!

But to return to the actors, wigs falling off revealing large expanses of a bald head, Charming and Cinders gazing into each other's eyes ten times in a row whist we get the cues right does lead to a certain hysteria. But I think most of us know the guilty pleasure of laughing when we really shouldn't?  We all know those moments in school, in church, at funerals and dreadful shows when the delight is so immense that we cannot help but stifle a laugh! Made all the more exquisite by being forbidden. So it was yesterday.

A huge amount was achieved by 9.30 pm last night, problems solved, inventive solutions found and a brilliant brilliant team of people who are probably earning 20 pence an hour based on their time input and sheer commitment, but as importantly their high level skills. I feel rather spoilt by all the talent around me.

And lastly - on a rather sensitive note. I asked Denise who is Front of House/Box Office/ Customer Service et al to be my critical friend. I have it on good authority that she is the Michael Billington of Barking when it comes to reviews! So I was trembling just a little when she popped in to watch. Summoning up the courage and averting my eyes I asked her how she thought it was coming on - terrified of what I might do if she panned it! But to my general relief she said she thought it was ok. She did make me hold my breath though - when she said "Carole - You do know - its not really a panto.......well not in the traditional sense....." I waited for the next sentence thinking maybe I had misunderstood what the Council had asked us to create? she went on to say that it felt "more like a musical with all the things you expect from a panto!"   Phew - that's exactly how I have described my ambition from day one! Thanks Denise, but still a way to go yet to get you laughing and crying in your seat.

So that's it folks for today - belated birthday lunch with my family later. So its me checking out for the next 24 hours. So sorry Donna and Henrietta you will have to make do with the Daily Mail Online tomorrow morning! But please do come back on Tuesday and bring some friends to our 6am coffee and commune! The more the merrier in my book (blog?)
Have a lovely day all - and Team Cinderella - stay in bed! Its an order.

Birthday Cake, Headphones, Chloe and Stage management: Director's Blog 21

Morning.
So it's Saturday, isn't that the day to catch up on chores, go for a walk maybe, to the cinema, relax in the evening with a glass of Pinotage and have dinner with friends? I vaguely remember Saturdays. 

Yesterday was a wonderful birthday day thanks to my lovely Team Cinderella, which is simply the best group of people I have ever worked with, honestly!  Of course I made sure that I let everyone know that it was my birthday on Act One Tech Rehearsal day.  It was a toss up though, do I keep it secret and get no cards? or own up and just hope no one asks how old I am! Its a bit of a double edged sword when you reach a 'certain' age. If no one asks your age you know that they either don't want to embarrass you, or they are scared that they might be so out that you are insulted! Suffice it to say, sweetly, no one did ask! And so the fact that I was 35 yesterday remains my secret!

I was really touched to arrive and find that Mr Phil, our talented MD had bought me not just one but TWO birthday cakes! One with the words Happy Birthday and the other a yummy chocolate caterpillar cake!  The thoughtfulness was to make sure that the whole team had a slice including our Chorus Group One when they arrived at 4.pm. Sorry Chorus Group Two, its the breaks! 

And on top of that a lovely cake from the cast with two big birthday candles with their best guess of my age  - 96! Guys - pleeeese!  A lovely rendition of the birthday song performed by 7 musical theatre actors with voices like angels ...... what more can an old gal ask for? My other special present was a little bit of scrap paper from Mr Phil, with a promise for three singing lessons under his fine tutelage. MMMM .......just a little bit scary! You see I can sing beautifully and pitch perfectly in my head.... however translating that to what comes out of my mouth is another matter! Thanks Phil, hope to take up your offer...... sometime........ soon.....

So to turn to more important matters, the business of making the show work technically. Its easy for me ....... I just have to imagine how I want things to look, feel, sound and generally come up with some ideas when it comes to the acting, emotion and spatial dynamics.

Over the years I have developed a little bit of a reputation for  being just a tad demanding of others however( Ian,our fantastic Designer would probably have a few words to add to this!) describing exactly what I want to achieve in a pretty uncompromising manner! 

With Owen on the floor bringing his attention to detail and well honed instinct for theatre coupled with a group of supremely talented Principals and Chorus that bit happens pretty much as I hope.Then its usually comes down to insuring that it can be repeated! However were it left to me to put the technical elements together, you would be left with something resembling a village hall jumble sale in the dark. (mm..... never been to a village hall jumble sale in the dark, but you get my drift).

So this is where the magic really starts to happen. You can probably guess if you haven't been in a show that a technical rehearsal is where the whole team comes together to bring their solutions in realising the writer's and director's vision.

Up until this moment the departments work hard independently in their disciplines to find solutions to all the challenges presented by the designer, director and MD.

The pivotal role in all of this is that of the Production Manager. He or she (in our case Chris of course) is responsible for ensuring that all these elements are heading in the right direction and then to bringing the design and tech team together to track progress, problem solve and action plan. With over 50 people involved its pretty similar to any small business developing and manufacturing a new product. The know-how of the team Chris has brought together is fantastic, and I am in awe of what they can produce and how they can solve problems like bendy wands and of course in our case the transformation for the ball! Not going to say any more about that though.

As well as the Writer, Director, MD, Designer, Choreographer, the role of the Lighting Designer is highly critical artistically. I haven't spoken much about our Lighting Designer Chloe (Kenward) as yet, but when she agreed to design the lights for CInderella I was really thrilled. Just a whistle stop tour of her design website will show you what I mean www.chloekenward.com.

I was also delighted to welcome Phil Hardisty to Team Cinderella over the past few days. Phil is the second member of our Band  ( are they all called Phil?) - and brings his talent as a musician and in this case a drummer to the creative mix! Great to have you on board Phil. 

I love Chloe's artistic and intelligent approach to lighting, coupled with her discipline and skills and her slightly scary habit of laughing at me!  Listening to her on the head phones throughout the day is to get just a glimpse of the combination of visual, conceptual and logical skills she uses to make her bit of the show work in concert with the whole.  She and Cat have been working flat out at this point and the pressure on Lighting Designers is full on during the rigging, focusing, plotting and programming of their design. I love lighting, can't do it meself, but I see it as yet another character in a show like music and design. Like what you have done with the doll's house Chloe!

And last but certainly not least Steve Billington, our Sound Designer who is beavering away on making all the sound effects!

And to turn to the Stage Management team of which there are four led by the precocious MJ (aka my carer).  Stage Management are the Father Christmasses of a show, you ask for something, and as if by magic it arrives! I had an idea of combining glitter and magic wands which I was pretty confident would work, but it was Myfanwy who went away and solved the problem, bringing me back the real thing that amazingly looked and worked just as I imagined! And giant nets M - they are awesome!

Laura and she have sourced everything along with Ian's direction. You name it they have found or made it. I am feeling just a bit embarrassed that in my blog yesterday, I may have given the impression that Myfanwy's greatest skill is making tea. Profound apologies M, it was just in that moment when you were making so many things happen, that your uncanny timing on asking whether I would like a cuppa became so prominent. 

It was very exciting to see the kids arrive this afternoon, get into costume and go on stage for the first time. These little (and not so little) guys jumped on stage and because they really know what they are doing from their many rehearsals, it all came together very well. I have to say I am totally in love with the mice, Freya and Ella ( and Chorus Two's Ellie and Zarmina), and their costumes are wonderful! Really excited about the mice.

So that's yesterday for you.  (oh and big thanks to Denise for toast and butter at 9pm! it certainly filled the gap!) 

Today we move onto Tech for Act Two.  We are on target, and Dean, the lovely Buttons/Dandini whispered to me that it was the easiest tech day he has ever been involved in. Eat your heart out West End Theatres! In large part this all  comes down to Chris and his team. Well done all - see you in an hour or so. 

The Irresistible call of live performance: Director's Blog 20

Good morning! Something is up - I only got 141 pageviews on my blog yesterday! My smash-it rate was 423 on Sunday November 18th. Mmmm......... what to be done? People are so fickle. Mumble.... mumble.

I have to admit to a secret addiction/pleasure at the end of every long day, which is to look at my blog traffic statistics, not from a narcissistic desire to find out who's reading me in Australia of course (There are a couple actually!), but to see what stories from the Panto shenanigans appeal most to you,dear reader. Apart from the stats its a bit of a guessing game. So to ensure that I am not simply spouting  out into a black hole in the universe it would be wonderful if you felt moved to let me know what else you would like to hear about from CInderella World. I can't promise I will know the answer, but will do my utmost  to investigate - and to encourage my trusty Team Cinderella to snitch so I can get the gossip out there too! 

Talking of Black Holes, this neatly brings me to a thought that will resonate with Trekkies, and which I find mildly amusing, ie; the similarity of the title sound of my Daily Director's Blog to the daily recording to be found in Captain Kirk's Log.

Captain's Log, stardate 54342.8.  Sociologist Xontel has been temporarily incapacitated. In pursuing the creature, he and his men somehow managed to cross the place where Mr. Spock's trap was set just as he completed the corrections to it.  The trap was sprung, and all four of my men were suspended for a moment in mid-air, puzzled, just before they fell into the cage we constructed.  We are now trying to  release them with phasers, as the lock was inadvertently smashed by the impact from Sociologist Xontel's foot as he fell.  I consider this a major setback.  Mr. Spock considers it "fascinating."

Thanks for that momentary indulgence! Well it is my birthday today.  Hopefully the TC is well primed to bring on the pyros!

Yesterday  however I felt the excitement of being a child on Christmas morning. The Principals arrived in the theatre at 9am and were warmly welcomed by Andy Knight, the Council Officer who is Group Manager for the Leisure facilities in Barking and Dagenham. This was followed by the obligatory Health and Safety talk from my stalwart Lieutenant Chris Musgrave, our Operations Leader who fortunately knows his stuff from having worked as Venue Technician at the theatre for the past four years. 

After that it was dressing up time. The tradition of the "costume parade" is a serious matter but also great fun, and means that the Designer and I and the rest of the team got to enjoy the actors parading in front of us on stage as Chloe and Cat plotted the lighting states which added incidental colour to this cat walk. It was fabulous to see all the costumes appear and the characters to transform in these brilliantly designed costumes by Ian. I cannot stress either how none of this would be possible without the work of the costume making team, Zoe Baron and Alison Jacobson.I am in awe of their ability to sew and stitch things as well and find and adapt the over 50 costumes for the show.

Our audiences are in for a treat! The Ugly sisters had me rolling in the aisle! Well that was also partly because I fell down the stairs and pulled my back. Not going to tell you anymore about costumes though as I don't want to spoil it for you!  Notice an absence of rehearsal photos today - that's why, some things just have to be kept secret.

Our kids will be coming in today and tomorrow and they too will delight us with their costume parade. I really can't wait. Technical rehearsals today, lights, music and sound in concert I hope! 

There really ain't nothing to compare with this live performance thing. I'm up

for the advances of technology, and have it on good authority that  this will be the first ever web streamed panto. So check out the dates on the Broadway Website. For me though there will never be anything that remotely compares to being in the auditorium at a live performance where cast and audience come together in a shared experience! Bring it on.